Saad Poem

Hi, my name is Saad, and I'm an alcoholic,
My parents had a baby and they didn't know what to call it,
I don't know why they named me Saad,
I think it was cuz I was initially a paad,
when I came out, my parents were surprised,
"How on Earth did I give birth to a black guy?
This can't be real, this must be fake,
Doctor, there's been a mistake!"
"Sir, I assure you that's your child,
and please stop acting wild."
"But that can't be my son, see,
he's supposed to be Saraiki."
"Sir you're gonna have to leave us,
if you don't, we'll cut off his penis."
That's exactly what they did,
and that's why I'm not a 100% black kid,
So now the only girls I can get are asian,
I can't find any girls of my persuasion,
Girls won't give me any digits, let alone one word,
They kicked me out of Chinese Club for being an anime nerd,
I'm hafiz, but they say I read without spirit,
and everyone talks about Imran Ahmed's qirat,
Any girl he wants, he can have,
He just looks at them with eye contact.
He was always better, that's what people would tell us,
and his good looks always made me jealous.
I love Imran Ahmed, more than a brother,
I'm glad that we don't have the same mother,
We were destined to be together, that's what people told us,
Way before he drove a pink ford focus,
Way before he fell in love with American cars,
People said me and him were gonna go far,
I love his car and the way he turns it on,
especially when he calls it his "decepticon."
Sometimes we talk on the phone till dawn,
till we hear the Imran Ahmed fajr azaan.
But we also argue and fight,
he thinks he's better than me at Counterstrike,
but I'm better there's no debate,
I'll beat him while watching Stargate,
I'll own him with an AK or an Awp,
we'll see whose username is on top.
But we're better than friends, we're brothers,
maybe one day we'll take it one step further,
but until the day we can both get nanga,
we'll just spend our days talking crap about jangra.