How to Spit Game

So everyone knows that when it comes to girls, I got mad game. I don't even have to try but every once in awhile, I run into a tough case. So there's this Persian girl (let's call her P) that I've been stalking for a few months now and she finally responded to my Facebook requests. So this is what I wrote on her wall and her responses:

I: thank you for unblocking me. now we can be friends. i like you, P. you are very pretty.
P: hahahha you so stupid! :)))))
P: creeper.... which is your mother land? lmao
I: why creeper? i just wna b ur friend :(
I: i am looking for lasting friendship
P: it is illegal to have lasting friendship with weirdos in this country lol
I: do you speak farsi? khalgoosha wa joonam ya kosh wa nada? i wnt to mary farsi grl.
P: ok, you're shia too????
I: i m shi3 too. i vud like to skipe wit u, ya joonam.
I: my email is PapaParsiKhalgoosh@ahmadinejad.gov
P: but you smell like curry and stale sweat...
[Luiz likes this]
I: who is this luiz? r u chting on me? i wanted u to b my mama parsi :(
P: i ain't no one's mama parsi!!!ok, get back to work :D
I: ok i go back to work at nike factory. may ahmadinejad shower u with blessings. tk care, joonam.

Long story short, we got married and have three kids now. Haris was the best man at the wedding. The end.